“There’s No Racism in Australia and You Can Piss Off Back to Where You Came From if You Don’t Agree” — The Shovel

“There’s No Racism in Australia and You Can Piss Off Back to Where You Came From if You Don’t Agree”


“Here we go again. Some bird from the ABC called Lara Bingle, or something like that, says we’re all racist. Well enough’s enough. I’m sick and tired of it.

Like I said to my Uber driver the other day (after I’d finished telling him his lot was responsible for pushing up housing prices), there’s no racism here mate, and you can piss off back to Pakistan if you don’t agree.

He said he was born in Sydney. Well, like I told him, he certainly didn’t look like someone who was born in Sydney. You know what he did look like? He looked exactly like the type of person who would have a whinge about racism, which definitely doesn’t exist.

Where’s the evidence for all of this so-called racism? It’s not as if there are neo-Nazis marching down the streets of Melbourne. Well, ok but you know what I mean. What I mean is, it’s not as if our country was founded on the dispossession and mass murder of a group of people who today face lower life expectancies and higher incarceration rates. Ok, another bad example, but that one doesn’t count. We’ve moved on from that. That’s what the referendum was for.

The thing is, people like this Bangle woman say racism is everywhere, but I’ve never experienced racism once. Not once! And I’ve lived here all my life! Which is a lot longer than some of these ethnics who come here to simultaneously steal our jobs and take our welfare and then complain about imaginary racism which definitely doesn’t exist. It’s ridiculous.

And anyway, I like eating spring rolls on occasion, and I’ve been to Bali four times, so how can you say I’m racist? The logic doesn’t add up. Check mate.

I think it’s time we all accepted that racism doesn’t exist and get on with our lives. And if you don’t agree, piss off back to where you came from. Like I shouted to Adam Goodes when I was booing him because he played for free kicks and definitely not because I was intimidated by a black man speaking out, “Go home if you don’t like it!”. Funny that he chooses to stay here if it’s so racist.

Next thing  you know that silly hysterical ABC woman will be telling us Australia is sexist. She should keep her mouth shut.


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