Britain’s Oxford-educated billionaire Tory Prime Minister Rishi Sunak says his signature election policy has been misunderstood, explaining that he wants every British 18-year-old to contribute to the design and manufacture of bespoke headwear, not the armed forces.
“This is an uncertain world, and there are forces trying to divide our society. It is time to create a new version of the National Service whereby young men and women design exquisite hats for every occasion,” Sunak said this morning while standing in a tropical storm.
“The world is more uncertain now than at any time since the Cold War. At any moment, without notice, we could all be invited to a summer garden party or a society wedding, and I don’t need to tell you how stressful that is if you’re not ready to go with a great outfit. Under my plan we’ll be able to face that threat unflinchingly with quality hand-crafted, fashion-forward headpieces, on hand when we need them most”.
Under the scheme young Britons could either join a milliner full time for a year, a volunteer at weekends, ensuring that the country has over 700,000 milliners ready to start designing hats at a moment’s notice.
“When that invitation for the races, or an engagement party comes, we will be ready at the drop of the hat, pun very much intended hahaha!” Sunak said.
