Seven Launches New ‘Dancing with the Dickheads’ — The Shovel

Seven Launches New ‘Dancing with the Dickheads’

REVIEW: Seven’s new season of Dancing with the Dickheads is off to a cracking start with more gaping holes of morality than you can poke your stick into.

Bruce Lehrmann’s wardrobe malfunction in last week’s breakdance to R Kelly’s ‘Don’t You Say No’ was finally reviewed by British lipreading experts who confirmed the former liberal staffer exclaimed “lol, my cock’s hanging out, let’s get lit” during an otherwise technically perfect execution of the worm.
Saved by the grace of guest judge and previous DWTD winner, Wayne Carey, Lehrmann swore on the lives of all disgraced Channel 7 personalities that next week he would finally show Australia his Pasodoble, causing Bettina Arndt’s fervent applause to echo awkwardly around the studio as Ben Roberts-Smith quipped “more like your Pastyknob-lay” to his perennially constipated-looking opponent.

Last week, Roberts-Smith showed viewers who was in command with a nail-biting, cliffhanger of a tango, where he reportedly booted his dance partner off the stage in a cocksure and unapologetic final flourish with few eye-witnesses.

Next week’s promo promises viewers a behind the scenes exclusive as Kerry Stokes opens up to DWTD special correspondent, Craig McLachlan, about the question on everyone’s lips.

“At the end of the day, spending vast amounts of cash to put men on the telly who shouldn’t be on the telly is simply more gratifying than setting fire to it”.

Dancing with the Dickheads airs Wednesdays on Seven for all eternity or until the patriarchy burns.


Story by Tegan Ree

Image by Chris Murray 


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