AFL Matches Cancelled After Players Mistakenly Snort Up Boundary Lines — The Shovel

AFL Matches Cancelled After Players Mistakenly Snort Up Boundary Lines

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This weekend’s AFL matches at the MCG will not go ahead, after a ‘misunderstanding’ that saw the boundary lines and 50 metre arcs disappear.

A group of unnamed players admitted they got confused at a mid-week training session and thought someone had racked up a massive line of coke for them. “We’re running laps and I look down and I see this fat line of nose candy,” one player explained. “I’m thinking, I don’t want to miss this opportunity, so I immediately snort it. Turns out it was white paint. It’s an easy mistake to make”.

He said things escalated quickly after the first line. “Between the four of us we managed to work our way through the boundary line, the 50 metre arcs, the centre square and the goal squares, which is about as much as we’d usually do on a night out. It was only when we got to the red Toyota logo that we thought something might be wrong”.

An AFL spokesperson said ground staff had attempted to replace the lines yesterday, but the new ones also disappeared overnight. “If we can’t fix the problem by next week, we’ll just go ahead without boundary lines and introduce 600 new rules to compensate,” the spokesperson said.

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