New border restrictions introduced today will require all NSW residents entering Victoria to provide a negative asbestos test or risk being placed in a quarantine facility for fourteen days.
With the number of asbestos cases in NSW growing daily, Victorian Premier Jacinta Allan acknowledged that asbestosis wasn’t a transmittable disease but said it would be fun to close the border anyway. “Get a taste of what it’s like fuckers!” she was quoted as saying this morning.
Despite over 40 sites now being listed as contaminated, NSW Premier Chris Minns said his state was the gold standard in asbestos management. “We’ve been able to identify more contaminated sites than any other state in Australia,” he said.
Toilet paper sold out in Sydney supermarkets today for no apparent reason.
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Headline by Matt Harvey @mattharveystuff
