The Palestinian terrorist organisation Hamas has been defeated, following a violent battle with salmonella.
While details are still emerging, sources can confirm that Scott Morrison – currently visiting Israel – cooked his famous chicken korma last night. Experts say it may have found its way to Hamas troops.
If true, it may be the first time Scott Morrison has achieved anything worthwhile in his time as an MP.
Sources say Morrison cooked the curry for his Israeli hosts, who pretended to eat it, before subtly throwing it away. IDF troops later realised it could be used as a biological weapon, and covertly distributed it into Hamas strongholds.
More to come.