No Camp Claims It Received More Votes, in First Factually Correct Statement of Campaign — The Shovel

No Camp Claims It Received More Votes, in First Factually Correct Statement of Campaign

In an astonishing reversal of tactics, the No campaign has abruptly embraced the concept of ‘the truth’, right at the moment vote-counting began.

“We won the referendum!” a No campaigner tweeted, his first evidence-based tweet of the past six months.

After months of making shit up about land grabs, constitutional risks and lawmaking abilities, the campaign coincidentally stumbled on the value of evidence-based, factually-correct deliberation, at the very last minute.

“We go there just in the nick of time,” a spokesperson for the No campaign said. “It’s so lucky, because otherwise we would’ve had to have conceded defeat, in order to uphold our policy of always being dishonest”.

No campaign spokesperson Michaelia Cash, who promoted outright lies during the campaign, said it was so important for the vote counting process to be accurate.

“It would be a disaster for our democracy otherwise”.

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