Peter Dutton’s brief moment of joy at winning the Voice referendum was abruptly interrupted by a little voice in his head that reminded him he’ll never be Prime Minister.
Dutton was midway through high fiving a colleague when he remembered that his approval rating sits at minus twenty. “And you’ve fucked it in the Teal seats,” the little voice in his head whispered. “What was the point of it all again?”
With the high of spreading misinformation and fear rapidly wearing off, Dutton tried to remain upbeat, consoling himself that at least he had prevented a historic chance at reconciliation.
“It’s ok Pete,” he told himself. “It’s only a matter of time before someone else comes up with a plan to improve people’s lives and you can destroy that”.