A political party that was so chaotically inept that it could not manage to build a few dodgily-funded car parks next to a suburban train station, has unveiled plans to replace Australia’s entire energy grid with nuclear reactors.
“While it is true that we were unable to project manage the construction of a two-level concrete building in Kooyong, we are confident that we’ll have no issues overseeing the assembly of seventy nuclear fission reactors across the country,” Liberal Party leader Peter Dutton said today.
He said that when it came to rolling out large-scale national projects, his party has what it takes. “Yes sure, we did inexplicably bungle a vaccination roll-out during a global pandemic. And yes, we did manage to somehow significantly reduce the quality of the National Broadband Network while at the same time making it more expensive and longer to roll-out. But I think you’ll find that when it comes to putting into action six dozen high-tech enriched uranium reactors and then safely storing the waste, we’re the guys for the job”.
Asked if the nuclear reactors would follow the proposed car-park rollout and be placed in Liberal-held seats, Dutton said, “Definitely fucking not”.