Refusing to waver from their commitment to tackle the biggest existential crises facing humanity, the teal independents have joined forces to take action on canned alcoholic fizzy drinks.
“We were elected on a platform of fighting the very biggest issues – from the dangers of catastrophic global warming, to the dangers of accidentally mixing up an alcoholic lemon drink with a non-alcoholic lemon drink,” a spokesperson for the group said.
“We want to be able to say to our children, and our children’s children, that we did everything we could to reduce the amount of man-made alcopops”.
She denied they had lost focus on the core issue of reducing carbon emissions. “Don’t let Solo’s ‘light on the fizz’ tagline fool you. This stuff is full of carbon dioxide”.
