The Earth will be without a moon from now on, The White House has confirmed.
Updating the nation’s media this morning President Biden said it was a silly mistake anyone could have made. “I was out getting some fresh air last night and I looked up and saw this giant white object just sitting there above me. And I turned to Jill and I said, ‘Honey I think that’s a Chinese spy balloon’.
“And she said, ‘No sweetie, that’s the moon’, but I misheard her and thought she said, ‘You must destroy it soon”. Unfortunately by the time I’d released what she’d said I’d already made some calls and ordered my military chief to remove it from the sky”.
The White House was putting a positive spin on the mishap, saying the moon was starting to get annoying anyway. “It really wasn’t serving much of a purpose, and if we’re all being honest, it was creating a lot of light pollution. So I think we’re probably better off without it,” a White House spokesperson said.
Kamala Harris confirmed she is already in negotiations with Saturn to borrow one of their moons, saying they have more than they need. Elon Musk meanwhile has announced plans to build a new moon, called MoonX.