Children from around the neighbourhood gathered today to hear dad Tom Haywood tell the seemingly inconceivable tale of how he used to go from 8:30am to 3:30pm each weekday without a 2000ml bottle of water at his side at all times.
“But it’s just not possible Mr Haywood!” the children cried, as the 41-year-old recounted how he managed to survive on nothing but a drink at a water fountain before school, during recess, during lunch and after school. “That’s only four drinks in a seven-hour period! How did you go for so long! That’s child abuse!” they screamed.
“That’s the 80s,” he corrected them, detailing how often there was only a trickle of water running out of a fountain, which students had to line up to get.
“But what if you didn’t get to the front of the line in time?” the children asked, dumbfounded?
“You waited until the next break,” he said, to audible gasps.
“And there wasn’t any air-conditioning back then either,” he said, as the children laughed, getting now that he had been joking all along.