Tyrannical despot and leader of the Victorian Labor Party Daniel Andrews has romped home to an historic third state election win after he strong-armed citizens into taking part in a callous process that forces them to choose who they vote for.
Under the brutal, independently-monitored system, the dictator’s subjects are coerced into numbering a series of boxes in the order of their choosing.
“He’s a fascist tyrant,” one voter said this morning. “Every four years he demands us to decide whether we still want him in power”.
Dictator Dan reportedly celebrated his victory by drinking the blood of his enemies in a quiet get-together with wife Cath and a close circle of trusted henchmen.
