King Charles III will not replace his mother on Australia’s $5 note as expected, with a decision made to instead showcase a much wider selection of the royal family and the heinous acts they have attempted to cover up in their long standing reign.
In true Imperial style, Queen Elizabeth managed to take over the hotly contested $5 note spot in 1992, despite not having done anything for the country where the note is spent. Following her death, the space will instead be dedicated to elegant depictions of monarch-sanctioned atrocities such as:
- The time Edward VIII hung out with Adolf Hitler
- Queen Elizabeth II’s million-dollar offshore tax haven in the Cayman Islands
- King James II setting up the slave-trading Royal African Company
- The theft of the Koh-i-Noor diamond
- The secret vetting over 1,000 pieces of British legislation before they came before Parliament
- Prince Andrew
A spokesperson for the Reserve Bank said it was a lovely way to acknowledge the wide-ranging work of the Monarchy. “So often our notes and coins only show one side of the face of the Monarchy, as it were. But these new notes will give Australians a better view of the full picture”.
Australians are anxiously awaiting to see if the new $5 note will be able to be folded into anything rude.
By Matt Harvey @mattharveystuff