Conservative Party to replace PM using little-known ’60 day returns policy’ — The Shovel

Conservative Party to replace PM using little-known ’60 day returns policy’

The UK Conservative Party has made use of an obscure law created in 1741 that allows Members of Parliament to return a non-functioning Prime Minister for a full refund, provided they have not been in use for more than 60 days.

Conservatives were keen to make use of the ‘no questions asked’ policy, saying it allowed them to pretend they had never chosen Liz Truss. “It’s like when you buy a piece of new clothing that looks great in the shop and then you get home and realise you’ve made a mistake. It looks fucking ridiculous, it doesn’t fit with anything, and it’s not at all what you remembered. That’s what’s happened with Liz Trust. We’ll just return her and pretend it never happened,” a spokesperson said.

“She’s technically been in power for 45 days, but apart from thoroughly breaking the country, you wouldn’t even know she has been Prime Minister”

Under the 18th Century law, a party member must simply take the unused Prime Minister to a special room in the Houses of Parliament, knock eleven times with a black and gold rod and then leave the building wearing a red pinafore, while reciting Shakespeare’s seventh sonnet.

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