In a speech to mildly excited supporters, new PM Liz Truss vowed to continue to oversee the rapid disintegration of Britain’s economy, but with a slightly more serious hairdo.
“I will continue to dismantle the NHS, but I’ll do it with all of the buttons on my shirt done up in the correct order,” she said.
“Without the distraction of having to keep track of seventeen children across eight families, I will be able to give my full attention to doing nothing about inflation and rising energy prices.
“And when it comes time to implement tax cuts that will widen inequality, you can rest assured that I will do it without reciting a quote from ancient Greek literature”.
