New rapid test detects if you currently hold a federal government ministry — The Shovel

New rapid test detects if you currently hold a federal government ministry

In response to reports that it is now possible to hold a senior government ministry without being aware of it, a pharmaceutical company has developed a new rapid test that can detect whether you have a cabinet ministry, with a 90% degree of accuracy.

Similar to a COVID rapid antigen test, the Rapid Ministry Test (RMT) produces one line if you are ministry free, or two lines if you hold a $370k-a-year position in a Westminster government system.

Pharmacist John Deluco says the new tests will go a long way in reducing uncertainty. “It is common for people to walk around in the community without even realising they are currently responsible for the finances of a $2.5 trillion economy. Just today I was talking to a guy who was responsible for the Home Affairs department and had absolutely no idea. It’s unbelievable!”

Deluco recommends testing regularly to detect the development of new ministerial positions. “They can occur at any time. With this simple test you’ll know whether you’re part of the federal cabinet or not”.

Researches have warned that it is possible to be carrying several ministries at once. “We previously thought it was only possible to have one ministry at a time, but we’re seeing cases now with three, four, even five ministries simultaneously”.

If you do test positive for a government ministry it is important to refrain from any work or strenuous activity for at least two years.

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