Almighty Father and election fixer ‘God’ has mixed things up from the 2019 election, this time delivering a heartbreaking election loss to Scott Morrison.
Speaking from Heaven today, God said he was bored and thought it would be funny. “This Morrison guy apparently credited me for his victory in 2019, which was hilarious – I mean, as if I give a fuck about Australian politics. I had a million other things to worry about in 2019, and that was just on Neptune. I honestly didn’t have time to get up to speed on #ausvotes.
“But anyway, today I was at a rare loose end, so I thought, why not fuck around and make this marketing guy lose, just for a bit of fun.
“I mean, the guy’s a bit of clown from what I’ve heard. I created the earth in six days; he spends that long constructing a photo shoot in a fighter jet so he can divert attention away from a rape allegation in his office. I don’t think you ‘Aussies’ are going to miss him”.