Fast food chain Pizza Hut has launched a new range of pizzas that include eight Four‘N Twenty party pies and a surgical syringe to help customers fast-track their premature death.
“We’re all about speed and convenience,” a spokesperson for the company said today. “There’s nothing worse than ordering a pizza and then waiting for what seems like days for it to arrive in your arteries”.
She said stuffing saturated fats into your mouth already seemed out-dated. “Why mess around with eating? This will get the fat into your system in a heartbeat. If you’ve still got one, of course”.
The offer is for a limited time only.
For more breaking stories, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter or sign up for email updates at the bottom of this page.
