Government Still Trying To Sell Budget (All Reasonable Offers Considered)

joe hockey satire

2014 Federal Budget, Urgent Sale

Up for sale is one Federal Budget. Only 3 months old, low kms.

A couple of small scratches and one biggish dent from when Joe Hockey backed into a poor person, otherwise in good condition.

A few of the promises are broken and there’s some other general wear and tear, but all core promises in good working order.

Power steering, two-speed economy, cruise control.

Extra after-market features include tinted windows and deregulated higher education system.

Well cleaned and maintained. Slight whiff of cigar smoke (suggest air freshener).

We will not negotiate on price. No time wasters please.

UPDATE: price negotiable.

UPDATE: price lowered further for quick sale, all reasonable offers considered (original line about no cuts doesn’t apply)

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  1. Avatar

    Maybe Satire

    August 26, 2014 at 8:11 am

    Attn: To Shovel Enterprises
    From: Consumer Protection Authority
    Subject: WARNING: Decptive representations and sale of Stolen items

    Dear Sir/Madam,

    It has come to our attention that you are trying to broker a sale of a used budget and are claiming it is only 3 months old. We believe this to be deceptive behaviour since it is, at best, the assembly of parts taken from the IPA and US Tea Party manufactured considerably earlier and having already passed their used-by dates.

    We have in fact strong belief that this product is in fact a stripped down and repainted IPA document- we must emphasise the penalties involved in the resale of stolen property and advise you to seek legal advice before any further promotion of this dubious item.

    We hope that this letter will provide sufficient warning of the consequences of pursuing with the sales of unsafe and ill-designed rebuilds of expired substances,

    Yours faithfully
    Mr M Satire
    Commissioner of Consumer Protection

    • Avatar


      August 28, 2014 at 10:13 am

      Yes it does seem to be a “rebirthed” job. Also lift up the bonnet and its got an engine that been borrowed from somewhere in the 1950’s. While the vendor originally represented that it was a turbo charged automatic, the turbo has fallen off and the gearbox has s$%t itself so that it can now only go slowly in reverse.

  2. Avatar


    August 26, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    “and one biggish dent from when Joe Hockey backed into a poor person,”

    Surely you jest ?
    What would a Poor Person be doing on the road ?

    • Avatar

      Maybe Satire

      August 26, 2014 at 5:04 pm

      Question “What would a Poor Person be doing on the road ?”

      Answer Walking.

  3. Avatar

    Cap'n Smith

    August 27, 2014 at 7:27 am

    Begging I suspect

  4. Avatar

    Maybe Satire

    August 28, 2014 at 11:26 am

    After failing to get satirist David Hunt to write Hockey’s speeches, is is true that Shovel will get the role? Is this why you are selling the budget? Have you no shame?

  5. Avatar


    August 28, 2014 at 9:50 pm

    $6, in the form of thirty pieces of silver.

    That should satisfy their Christian leanings, and leave the rest of my limited funds for research into coming up with a new budget to replace this one, which was accidentally-on-purpose burned to ashes.