Tony Abbott Denies His Government Ever Promised To Be Adults

Pyne satire

Tony Abbott this morning said that neither he, nor his colleagues, ever claimed to be adults and that any suggestions they had done were simply misquotes from sections of the media.

In a speech to the press gallery Mr Abbott said, “We never promised to be anything other than childish and petty. That was our pinkie promise and we are going to keep that promise. Not the promise that some people thought that we made, or that people like Short Change Electricity Bill Shorten wanted us to make. We are going to keep the promise that we actually made. So suffer”.

When shown footage of Liberal MPs claiming during the election campaign that the ‘adults would be in charge’ should the Coalition be elected, Mr Abbott said “well that’s just semantics and we had our fingers crossed anyway”.

The press conference was brought to a close when Education Minister Christopher Pyne ran up behind Mr Abbott and gave him a wet willy.

The Shovel is Australia’s satire website. For more, follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.


  1. Avatar

    edward eastwood

    December 1, 2013 at 4:56 pm

    Look…ah…I really wish…ah, that you people…ah…in the media..ah…would get your…ah, facts straight! It wasn’t a …ahh…wet willy!
    It was a wedgie!
    Ahh…Chrisotpher is always…doing things like…ah that, he really is…ah…such a card!

    • Avatar


      December 1, 2013 at 5:26 pm

      LOL! So true!!!

    • Avatar


      December 1, 2013 at 11:29 pm

      It wasn’t was wet willy or a wedgie. I saw on the Bolt Refute show. I heard Prissy Chrissie shouting through Abbott’s earpiece. Prissy kept yelling: “Abbs say, you didn’t promise anything, and blame the media!” Then, “”No, don’t say that! Say you did promise but everyone on the whole planet got it wrong! Don’t worry we’ve wiped all your speeches so they can’t prove it!” then, “No. No. Say that you did promise but not what they think you promised and … and … no child will live in poverty by 1999!” Then “No no … oh fuck it! You just said it! But that’s OK. We’re all confused and that’s great Abbs!”

  2. Avatar


    December 3, 2013 at 2:44 pm

    Government House has never had grown ups it is just a Day Care Centre for the obnoxious

  3. Avatar


    December 4, 2013 at 3:55 pm

    Christopher Pyne gave Tony Abbott a wet willy! LOL!!! Always though Pyne was more the aggessive bottom, though.

  4. Avatar

    rodney menolotto

    December 10, 2013 at 9:04 pm

    At least the coalition has a better grip on reality then the corrupt ALP thst think it is still in power and still can’t believe how much the Australian people hate them.

    • Avatar


      January 3, 2014 at 2:24 pm

      PRICELESS! How many more months (years?) can you keep bringing that one up? Go on, try it and let me know!

  5. Avatar


    May 17, 2014 at 11:49 am

    With all the fabrication going on daily in Canberra, you would think they would have earned sufficient export dollars to save Australia, N.Z., Fiji and the South Pacific from economic disaster by now…..but,OMG, fabrication in Canberra means lies not Manufactured Goods. Whoops, my fail!