Christmas Uniforms Not Humiliating Enough, Retail Workers Say

Christmas satire

As retail assistants around the country look forward to another festive season, many say their employers are not giving them enough opportunities to look like a total dick.

Lillian White, who will this year work her fourth Christmas season at the local supermarket, said wearing furry reindeer ears and a shiny nose last year looked great, but believes her boss missed an opportunity to push the festive theme further.

“It’s a self esteem thing. When I’m wearing a Santa hat or I’m dressed as an elf, I feel confident and in control. So I’d certainly support going further”.

Ms White says her co-workers have been throwing around a few ideas. “Singing Christmas carols while we scan grocery items is one idea that’s come up. But I really think shoppers want more Christmas spirit than that. My vision is for a full-scale re-enactment of the nativity with every purchase”.

Jean Forchester, a regular grocery shopper, agreed more could be done in retail outlets. “When checkout operators come to work without a novelty hat, or just wearing a token piece of tinsel, it feels forced. Sometimes I wonder if the shops even know it’s Christmas”.


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    November 28, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Love it! Thanks for the chuckle.

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    edward eastwood

    November 28, 2013 at 1:18 pm

    Ditto! ROFLMAO

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    November 28, 2013 at 5:13 pm

    I used to work in a pharmacy 20 years ago that forced me to wear an elf costume with loud bells attached to it. Brings back memories!

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    Word Journeyer

    November 28, 2013 at 10:47 pm

    I was always disappointed during my retail days with Christmas music being played on a constant loop for only two months before the big day. Partial insanity is a real tease.

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      Bonny Rowson

      December 12, 2013 at 5:20 am

      ^ Hahahaha, this made me laugh so hard (the article too of course, but this reply is gold)