Calls For Residents To Be Alerted When Politicians Are Released Into The Community

australian political satire

Victims’ rights groups have called for a registry to be set up to alert residents when Members of Parliament enter their community. They argue the measures are necessary to protect children and other vulnerable members of society from the dangerous amounts of bullsh*t that certain politicians discharge.  

“When they’re locked up within the confines of Canberra, the threat is minimal. But once politicians are let out into Australian communities, armed with their empty slogans and empty promises, the risk of abuse is really quite high,” said one activist.

“I would’ve thought it would be a good idea to know if a politician’s moving next door to you that might not have all the language or social skills you might normally expect,” he said.

“The police and the local health authorities should probably be alerted as well, so the appropriate support can be provided if necessary”.

Want even more satire? Follow The Shovel on Facebook and Twitter.


  1. Avatar


    March 1, 2013 at 10:18 am

    Reblogged this on iheariseeilearn.

  2. Avatar

    geraldine thomson

    March 3, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    They should also be banned from mail-outs! They should be charged with harassment and false representations!

  3. Avatar

    Michael Noonan

    March 5, 2013 at 11:27 pm

    And statistically, a much, much higher proportion of politicians are charged with criminal offences, than are refugees. Send the votes back to where they came from!

  4. Avatar

    Andrea Moore

    March 13, 2013 at 9:52 pm

    Woops! There is a large distance between venerable and vulnerable….. clarification please or it could be very embarrassing for me at the least and you because you wrote it. Ha Ha. I am a qualified editor if you are offering an employment situation.

    • Avatar

      The Shovel

      March 13, 2013 at 10:27 pm

      Thanks Andrea. Our editor is shit, but he makes good coffee.